20 January, 2008

Bitter Cold

The last few weeks have found me in mild climates. I tend to immediately judge people in Miami who wear fur lined coats when its 60 to be weak. All the southeast guy's blogs are complaining about the 40 degrees and slight drizzle that set in in the past week. Riders I met in Missouri who said its too cold to ride on a brisk but beautiful 35 degree sunny day should have to live here, under the gray, seemingly endless clouds of Cleveland. But I will say this. We breed some hardened riders up here in the Midwest tundra.

And happy riders as well. Today, believe it or not, was a great day of riding. Sunny, populous, and fast. I haven't been on a large(r) group ride in a while, and it was good to get out with some people. This ride came about as a cancellation of a road ride. And no matter how hard we claim to be, road riding is simply not a good idea when the degrees can be counted on one hand. So we went mountain biking, apparently a confusing experience for some. Greg, the alpha male, was having a mechanical difficulty with his frozen bike, which quickly gathered the interest of the pack...
We were careful to tie up the horses, which waited patiently as 6 grown men gathered to change a flat. After a few cold minutes of standing around, even the horses laid down to wait it out...


We made it back to the car for a little warm liquid and much-un-needed b.s.-ing and finally hit the trail. It wasn't 3 minutes until we had another flat. And no shit, I did some math and this is what it looks like....
With such staggering statistics and caustic cold, half of our merry bunch bid us farewell, leaving sub-Team Dieringer to play in the cold. We finally found the elusive "back half" of the Reagen Park trails, which proved...well....okay. Lots of tight turns that can't be taken with speed...and the ultimate singlespeed cockblock; short steep downhills with U-turns back up the same steep ravine you came down. It goes something like this. Feather the front....rear....rear....slide the back wheel around.....shoulder into the sappling....lose all momentum...stand....tear your carbon bar in half....2 rpm for 30 ft....die....reach top. UGH....I'm sure its not much better for those riding gears. Trail builders need to realize that FLOW HAS VALUE. I'd invest in flow over elevation change any day. ANY DAY. I think you hear me knocking Finley Park, and I think I'm coming in.

Team Dieringer is, at best, good at entertaining itself. We all three ride the big wheels, the 29er wheels, and role large over puny BMX tracks like giants. Just look at the scale...Giants among Men.

Alrighty, so its actually an RC car track. Thanks to Chip for the well timed trigger finger, I looked much worse as my ride's creator thanked me for not crushing the down tube. Apparently, and I haven't confirmed this, but RC cars are smaller than 29ers, and the "double" is actually spaced perfect for near disaster on a bike. Here is Zak displaying good form, front wheel pointed for the landing...
and....me....about to smack into the upside of the next jump with way to much speed and only a dash of control...

And as a parting note. Did you know that in Jesusland there is less military and more skools....no shit...more skools....thank god for jesusland and its effective education system.

As an aside...totally non-related....I am officially under employed....so if anyone has an idea of how to fund a season of endurance mountain biking while maintaining a lifestyle that promotes success at said season , please comment. I have no standards or morality.

4 comments:

chip said...

finally a graph i can undrestand.

chip said...

oh yeah, just another example of why it scares me when you drive. snapping photos at 85mph and im sure you had your phone gizmo in your other hand too.

John Davis said...

heh. I expect a powerpoint presentation on the ride soon.

About riding in 9 deg. weather. I was in my warm down-comforted bed when you guys started out. I was happy. Very happy.

stuffy said...

steezy RC freeride form, wheelie boy. check that style at the door before you ride whistler. ;)

(I stacked it on my first run down A-line)